Some People Are Amazed At My Brain,

When My Mother Had To Get Dinner For 8 She'd Just Make Enough For 16 And Only Serve Half.

This Used To Be A Government Of Checks And Balances. Now It's All Checks And No Balances.

This Country Needs Room To Grow And Expand. In All My Own Newspapers I Read Frightful Tales Of The Shameful Atrocities Being Perpetrated On Our Democratic Minorities In Maine And Vermont. My Patience Is Almost At An End, And If Provoked Much Further I Will Place Both Countries Under American Protection, Even If I Have To Send In My Tourists To Start Trouble So I'll Have To Send In A Force To Restore Order.

A Friend Asked Her Doctor If A Woman Should Have Children After Thirty-five. I Said, "thirty-five Children Is Enough For Any Woman.

Some People Are Amazed At My Brain, But Really It's Nothing.