Some Of You May Be Perfectly Happy

I Find That If I Don't Do Interviews, I Get A Little Squirrely. I Think That When You Engage With Someone Else, Or When You Engage In Something You're Passionate About, You're Sort Of Out Of Your Own Head.

Faith In The Face Of Disappointment Is Only Enhanced By Laughter In The Face Of Pain.

I'm Not Against People Just Being Funny Or Telling Stories. I Don't Need To Delve Into The Soft, Dark Core All The Time. If It Happens, It Happens.

It May Have Lost Its Special-ness Forever And The Clubs Might Not Being Doing Well But I Think Standup Is In The Best Shape It Has Been In A Long Time.

I Used To Be Jealous; I'm Not Jealous Anymore. And A Miracle Happened To Me, Because If You're Jealous, It's A Cancer, It's A Plague On Your Spirit, It Really Is. And I Actually Cured Jealousy In A Very Weird Way - I Cured It With Mathematics. And I'm Not A Math Person At All, But I've Been With My Wife For About Seven Years, So We Have Had Sex Probably, I'd Like To Think, Like, 9 Million Times Or, At Least, 1,500. So, The Way I Figured It, If She Goes Out And Screws Some Other Guy Once - I'm Still Winning.