Some Of The Best Fiction Writers Got

I Was Leafing Through A Magazine Where There Was A Before-and-after Picture Of A Woman Who Went From A Size 5 To A Size 3 By Liposuction. Was She Serious? I've Cooked Bigger Turkeys Than Her "before" Picture.

I Will Never Understand Children. I Never Pretended To. I Meet Mothers All The Time Who Make Resolutions To Themselves. 'i'm Going To ... Go Out Of My Way To Show Them I Am Interested In Them And What They Do. I Am Going To Understand My Children.' These Women End Up Making Rag Rugs, Using Blunt Scissors.

I Have Never Understood, For Example, How Come A Child Can Climb Up On The Roof, Scale The Tv Antenna, And Rescue The Cat ... Yet Cannot Walk Down The Hallway Without Grabbing Both Walls With His Grubby Hands For Balance.

All Of A Sudden, I Feel Very Old And Very Tired. Maybe When I Get To California, The Smog, Brush Fires, Floods, And Earthquakes Will Cheer Me Up.

Youngsters Of The Age Of Two And Three Are Endowed With Extraordinary Strength. They Can Lift A Dog Twice Their Own Weight And Dump Him Into The Bathtub.