Soap, Like People, Shouldn't Smell Like Anything.

Almost All Of Us Have An Elevator Or Two In Our Lives Somewhere. We Wait For Them, We Ride On Them. We're Annoyed By The Wait But Pleased With The Lift.

Once You Pass Forty, A Dime Isn't Worth Bending Over To Pick Up If You Drop One.

You're Better Off Missing A Bus Or An Airplane Once In A While Than You Are Getting There Too Early All The Time.

The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.

American Closets Are Filled With Once-worn Clothes That Got A Bad Review From A Friend On Their First Appearance.