So I Fell In Love With A

I've An Irritating Chuckle, I've A Celebrated Sneer, I've An Entertaining Snigger, I've A Fascinating Leer; To Everybody's Prejudice I Know A Thing Or Two; I Can Tell A Woman's Age In Half A Minute--and I Do

The Idiot Who Praises, With Enthusiastic Tone, All Centuries But This, And Every Country But His Own.

The Happiest Hour A Sailor Sees Is When He's Down At An Inland Town, With His Nancy On His Knees, Yo Ho! And His Arm Around Her Waist!

Oh, Wouldn't The World Seem Dull And Flat With Nothing Whatever To Grumble At?

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-general, I've Information Vegetable, Animal, And Mineral, I Know The Kings Of England, And I Quote The Fights Historical, From Marathon To Waterloo, In Order Categorical.