So A Man Jumps Into A Taxi

So I Said To This Train Driver "i Want To Go To Paris". He Said "eurostar?". I Said "i've Been On Telly But I'm No Dean Martin".

You Know, Somebody Actually Complimented Me On My Driving Today. They Left A Little Note On The Windscreen, It Said 'parking Fine.'

A Jump Lead Walks Into A Bar. The Barman Says "i'll Serve You, But Don't Start Anything."

A Guy Walks Into A Pub With A Lump Of Asphalt On His Shoulder, He Says To The Bar Man Give Us A Pint And One For The Road.

A Woman Tells Her Doctor, 'i've Got A Bad Back.' The Doctor Says, 'it's Old Age.' The Woman Says, 'i Want A Second Opinion.' The Doctor Says: 'okay - You're Ugly As Well.'