Showing Up Is 80 Percent Of Life.

Life Doesn't Imitate Art, It Imitates Bad Television.

There Are Drawbacks In Being Famous Too, But You Can Live With Those. They're Not Life-threatening. If The Paparazzi Are Outside Your Restaurant Or Your House - And Actors Make Such A Big Thing Of It And Scurry Into Cars And Drape Things - You Think They're Going To Be Crucified Or Something. It's Not A Big Deal. You Can Get Used To That. It's Not So Terrible.

I Can't Enjoy Anything Unless Everybody Is. If One Guy Is Starving Someplace, That Puts A Crimp In My Evening.

My Grammy Never Gave Gifts, You Know. She Was Too Busy Getting Raped By Cossacks.

Should I Marry W.? Not If She Won't Tell Me The Other Letters In Her Name.