Save The Trees? Trees Are The Main

I've Always Wanted To Go To Switzerland To See What The Army Does With Those Wee Red Knives.

A Mate Of Mine Has Just Told Me He's Shagging His Girlfriend And Her Twin, I Said How Can You Tell Them Apart, He Said "her Brothers Got A Moustache!"

When I Read 'be Real, Don't Get Caught Acting,' I Thought, 'how The Hell Do You Do That?'.

[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late] You Haven't Missed A Thing, I Was Just Killing Time 'til You Got Here.

Scotland Has The Only Football Team In The World That Does A Lap Of Disgrace.