Satire Is Tragedy Plus Time.

All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction And Despair. If The Whole World Were Tranquil, Without Disease And Violence, I’d Be Standing On The Breadline Right In Back Of J. Edgar Hoover.

If You Believe There Is A God, A God That Made Your Body, And Yet You Think That You Can Do Anything With That Body That's Dirty, Then The Fault Lies With The Manufacturer.

I'm Sure That Half The Buzz From Smoking Grass Was The Fact That It Was So Illegal.

I Wanted Out Of The Navy So Bad In '45, I Faked Homo To Get A Discharge. It Didn't Matter That The Germans Surrendered, I Knew We Were Heading To Japan And I Was Done With That Scene.

I Know What "custody" [of The Children] Means. "get Even." That's All Custody Means. Get Even With Your Old Lady.