Remember When We Used To Worry About

Bill Clinton Is The Only Ex-president Who Hasn't Planned His Own Funeral. But, In His Defense, In The Past He Has Said He Wants To Be Buried Next To Hillary. I Guess He Figures He Never Slept Next To Her When They Were Alive, Might As Well Try It Now That They're Dead.

The White House Says That The Unemployment Rate Is Good News Because It Means More People Are Looking For Jobs. More Good News Like That, And Everyone At The White House Will Be Looking For Jobs.

The Ceo Of The Cheesecake Factory Is Now Warning That Obamacare Will Be Very Costly. Hey, The Cheesecake Factory Is One Of The Reasons We Need Obamacare In The First Place.

Barack Obama Said Yesterday That The Economy Was 'going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better.' See, That's When You Know The Campaign Is Really Over. Remember Before The Election? 'the Audacity Of Hope!' 'yes, We Can!' 'a Change We Can Believe In!' Now It's, 'we're All Screwed.'

The Price Of Oil Is Rising Because Of All The Unrest In The Middle East. And The Unrest In Wisconsin Is Causing The Price Of Cheese To Go Through The Roof.