Remember When We Used To Worry About

President Bush Said That Our Kids Must Be Taught How To Read. He Said If His Aides Never Learned To Read, They'd Never Be Able To Tell Him What's In The Newspapers Every Day.

The United States Have Developed A New Weapon That Destroys People But It Leaves Buildings Standing. It's Called The Stock Market.

Martha Stewart Was Found Guilty On All Charges. You Know What That Means, Stripes Are In This Year.

Racecar Driving Is A Lot Like Sex; All Men Think They're Good At It.

We're Heading For A Gov. Shutdown. This Is Serious. W/o The Gov Who Will Fail To Inspect Our Airplanes? Who Will Fail To Secure Our Borders? Who Will Put Us 14 Trillion Dollars In Debt?