Martha Stewart Was Found Guilty On All

Rick Santorum Is So Conservative; He Thinks Ky Jelly Is Jam Made In Kentucky.

Not A Good Night For President Obama. He Lost Elections In Virginia, New Jersey, And He's Not Doing Good In Afghanistan Either.

Racecar Driving Is A Lot Like Sex; All Men Think They're Good At It.

John Kerry Says That He Wants To Debate President Bush Once A Month Until The Election. This Could Be A Risky Move For Senator Kerry. If Bush Doesn't Show Up For The Debates, John Kerry May End Up Debating An Empty Chair. And That Could Be Pretty Much A Toss Up As To Which One Has The Better Personality.

The L.a. Times Reports That Al Qaeda Terrorists Have Been Traced To Iran, And President Bush Is Talking Tough. In Fact He Said He Will Attack The Minute He Has Evidence His Approval Rating Is Under 45 Percent.