Racecar Driving Is A Lot Like Sex;

Have You Noticed How The Republicans And Democrats Try To Copy Each Other At Their Conventions. Like At The Democratic Convention John Kerry's Daughter Told A Story About How He Once Gave Cpr To Her Hamster. At The Republican Convention The Bush Girls Are Going To Tell A Story About How When Their Hamster Was Bad, Their Dad Built Them A Little Electric Chair.

In His First Speech As Speaker, Boehner Thanked His Loved Ones - Tobacco Lobbyists, The Oil Companies, The Ceos.

50% Of Americas Population Spends Less Than 10 Dollars A Month On Romance. You Know What We Call These People? Men!

California Governor Gray Davis Visited An Elementary School Here In Los Angeles Where He Taught A Class. I Don't Want To Say He Was Unpopular But The Kids Gave Him A Wedgie And Stuffed Him In A Locker.

Barack Obama Now Says He Is Open To Offshore Oil Drilling. So, Apparently, When He Promised Change, He Was Talking About His Mind.