Real Feminism Is Spinsterhood.

I Simply Like Guns Because You Can't Shoot People Without Them.

Recently While Browsing In A Secondhand Bookstore I Bought A Paperback Copy Of The Intellectual And The City, But I Was Unable To Read It. When I Got Home I Discovered That The Original Owner Had Highlighted The Entire Book - Literally. Every Line On Every Page Had Been Drawn Through With A Bright Green Magic Marker. It Was A Terrifying Example Of A Mind That Had Lost All Power Of Discrimination.

I Don't Suffer Fools, And I Like To See Fools Suffer.

The Confidence And Security Of A People Can Be Measured By Their Attitude Toward Laxatives. At The High Noon Of The British Sun, Soldiers In Far-flung Outposts Of The Empire Doctored Themselves With "a Spoonful O' Gunpowder In A Cuppa 'ot Tea." Purveyors And Users Of Harsh Laxatives Were Not Afraid Of Being Thought Mean And Unfriendly Just Because Their Laxatives Were. But In America, The Need To Be Nice Is So Consuming That Nobody Would Dare Take A Laxative That Makes You Run Up The Stairs Two At A Time, Pushing Others Aside And Yelling, "get Out Of The Way!

God May Have Loved The Common People, But A Trip To Any Shopping Mall Suggests That He Made Far Too Many Of Them.