Today, The L.a. Times Accused Arnold Schwarzenegger

I Vote Democrat Because I'm Way Too Irresponsible To Own A Gun, And I Know That My Local Police Are All I Need To Protect Me From Murderers And Thieves. I Am Also Thankful That We Have A 911 Service That Gets Police To Your Home In Order To Identify Your Body After A Home Invasion.

John Kerry Says That Foreign Leaders Want Him To Be President, But That He Can't Name The Foreign Leaders. That's All Right, President Bush Can't Name Them Either.

I Vote Democrat Because I'm Not Concerned About Millions Of Babies Being Aborted So Long As We Keep All Death Row Inmates Alive And Comfy.

The Russian Economy Is Tanking. It's Gotten So Bad That Today Vladimir Putin Had To Pawn His Stolen Super Bowl Ring. And Putin Will Finance His Next Invasion On Kickstarter.

If It Wasn't For Coffee, I'd Have No Discernible Personality At All.