Sometimes When You Look In His Eyes

John Mccain Turned 72 Years Old Last Friday, But The Chinese Are Making Him A Birth Certificate That Says He's Only 33 And Then He'll Be Ready To Go.

I Vote Democrat Because I Believe That Businesses Should Not Be Allowed To Make Profits For Themselves. They Need To Break Even And Give The Rest Away To The Government For Redistribution As The Democrat Party Sees Fit.

Mayor De Blasio Said That Whenever He Goes To A Yankee Game He Gets Sick And Tired Of People Booing And Giving Him The Finger. Hey, What Do You Want? You're The Mayor Of New York City. It Comes With The Gig, Pal.

I Wish The Iphone People Would Design One That's Black And Has Two Pieces, And It Plugs Into The Wall And You Can Pick One Piece Up And Talk Into It. I Tell You, The Whole Time I Had One Of Those Old-fashioned Plug-in Phones, Not Once Did I Misplace It.

Kim Jong Il Made His Staff Call Him “dear” And Spent The Day Drinking Cognac. It's Like I Have A Twin, Ladies And Gentlemen.