President Obama Told The Irish People That

Nissan Is Designing A Car That Will Read The Driver's Mind. I Already Know What I'm Going To Do. I Want A Car That Will Read The Other Guy's Mind.

I Flew This Past Weekend. I Went Through Airport Security And Said To The Guy, 'is Everything Okay?' He Said, 'you Might Want To Have That Mole On Your Ass Checked Out.' That Seems A Little Personal To Me.

After Saying The Jobs Bill Is Paid For, President Obama Now Says That It Will Be Paid For By Raising Taxes Over 10 Years. I Can't Figure Out If He's The Kind Of Guy Who Makes Infomercials, Or The Kind Of Guy Who Falls For Infomercials.

Warren Buffett's Company Reportedly Owes The Irs A Billion Dollars In Back Taxes. When He Said He Wasn't Paying Enough Taxes, He Wasn't Kidding.

John Kerry's Wife Teresa Heinz Is On The Cover Of Newsweek Magazine This Week And They Said That If He Is Elected President, She Will Be The Oldest First Lady In American History. But That Doesn't Bother John Kerry, He Said, 'to Me, She Looks Like A Million Bucks'