Political Correctness? In My Humor, I Never

When You Stand Alone And Sell Yourself, You Can't Please Everyone. But When You're Different, You Can Last.

I Have A Problem, If The Light Goes On On Tv And It Blinks Midnight, I Don't Know How To Fix It.

If I Were To Insult People And Mean It, That Wouldn't Be Funny.

Eddie Fisher Married To Elizabeth Taylor Is Like Me Trying To Wash The Empire State Building With A Bar Of Soap.

I've Never Been Mean-spirited, In My Opinion. I Never Did Anything Below The Belt.