I've Never Had A Writer, And I'm

When Someone Says To Me, Do You Do Stand-up I Say Absolutely Not. I Like To Think Of It As A Theatrical Performance. With Me The Show Changes Maybe Five To Ten Percent Every Night. Of Course, Whatever I See In Front Of Me And Sometimes I Get On A Little Run About It And It Changes The Show. And My Delivery Is Such That People Who Have Seen Me Many Times Say Gee, I Never Heard That Before. Actually, They Have, But I Might Have Changed It Around.

I've Never Been Mean-spirited, In My Opinion. I Never Did Anything Below The Belt.

In The Old Days, That Was My Ad-lib For Hecklers In The Joints I Worked. It Stuck With Me. I Hardly Say It Now, Say, To Fans, Even Though People Do Send Me Hockey Pucks.

I Was Sitting In The Toilet And I Was By Myself. I Was Tired Of Playing With The Roller, So I Said I'd Better Write A Book.

I've Never Had Guys Sit Me Down And Say This Is What You've Got To Do. It's My Personality That Makes Me One Of A Kind, And I Believe That.