I've Never Had A Writer, And I'm

Once In A While, When I'm Alone, I Think About My Age. I Think, How Many More Years Do I Have On This Earth? But I Can't Really Conceive Of Dying. Somehow, In My Head, I Don't Think I'll Die. I Know That Everybody Dies, Of Course. I Just Think That It'll Never Come To Me. It's Crazy, But There It Is.

So Many Young People Think The Big Sex Act Is The Whole Movie, But That's Not The Case. You Need To Be Able To Talk And Laugh And Cry Together.

I Think If I Took Therapy, The Doctor Would Quit. He'd Just Pick Up The Couch And Walk Out Of The Room.

I Never Could Tell A Joke. I Just Started Talking To The Audience, And When The Drunks Would Yell, "hey, When Do The Broads Come On?" I Got Good At Saying, "relax. Clear Your Skin Up First." They Called Me "the Insult Guy," But It's Never Mean-spirited. I'm Just Exaggerating Everything About Us And About Life.

Alan King, A Comedian I Adored, Was Considered Society, And I Was Considered The Jewish Kid From The Neighborhood.