Poetry Is One Of The Few Nasty

Love Is An Optical Illusion That Makes You Believe The Object Of Your Affection Is The Most Beautiful Person In The World.

Genies Rarely Have Nightmares, For The Same Reason That Elephants Don't Usually Worry About Being Trampled Underfoot. With The Possible Exception Of Bottles, There's Nothing In The Cosmos Large Enough Or Malicious Enough To Frighten Them, Or Stupid Enough To Try.

Descartes' Immortal Conclusion Cogito Ergo Sum Was Recently Subjected To Destruction Testing By A Group Of Graduate Researchers At Princeton Led By Professors Montjuic And Lauterbrunnen, And Now Reads, In The Shorter Harvard Orthodoxy: (a) I Think, Therefore I Am; Or (b) Perhaps I Thought, Therefore I Was; But (c) These Days, I Tend To Leave That Side Of Things To My Wife.

Among The Gods, There Is A Dispute As To Which One Of Them Originally Thought Of Christianity; Or, As They Call It, The Great Leg Pull. Apollo Has The Best Claim, But A Sizeable Minority Support Pluto, Ex-god Of The Dead, On The Grounds That He Has A Really Sick Sense Of Humour. How Would It Be, Suggested The Unidentified God, If First We Tell Them All To Love Their Neighbour, Pack In The Killing And Thieving, And Be Nice To Each Other. Then We Let Them Start Burning Heretics.

The Best Definition Of An Immortal Is Someone Who Hasn't Died Yet.