People Want What They Want. And I

All You Crazy White People "i'm American!", All You Did Was Come Out Of Your Mother's Pussy On American Soil. That's It. That's It! What, You Think You're Better Than Somebody From France 'cause You Came Out Of A Pussy In Detroit?

I Want My Name To Be A Brand In Comedy. I Hope My Name Stands For Comedic Excellence.

There Are People Who Would Like To Get Rid Of Minimum Wage. But We Have To Have It, Because If We Didn't Some People Would Not Get Paid Money. They Would Work All Week For Two Loaves Of Bread And Some Spam.

The Thing I Try To Get Across To The Writers - And I Do A Lot Of Writing, Too - Is That When I Do Stand-up, Nothing I Talk About Is Funny. Everything Is Really Sad And Tragic And Then I Make It Funny.

Tomorrow Is More Sure Than Just About Anything Else In The Entire World.