I Believe You Got My Property?

Kennedy Didn't Beat Nixon. Satire Beat Nixon.

Kids Always Act Up The Most Before They Go To Sleep.

I'm Old Enough To Remember When There Were No Black Quarterbacks - There Were No Blacks On Tv. I Hope My Son Or Daughter Doesn't Have To Be As Fixated On Race As I Am, Because He Or She Will Grow Up In Freer Times.

My Relationship With My Daughter Is Gonna Affect Her Relationship With Men For The Rest Of Her Life... Sometimes I'm Walking With My Daughter. I'm Pushing Her In The Stroller, And Sometimes I Just Pick Her Up And Stare At Her, And I Realize, My Only Job In Life Is To Keep Her Off The Pole.

I've Told Michael Jackson Jokes. If You Got Really Technical, You Could Say Those Are Jokes About Child Molestation. You Could, If You Got Technical. A Lot Of This Is Just Selective Outrage Because Honestly, The Audience Are The Ones That Tell Us That Something Shouldn't Be Spoken. The Audience Lets Us Know. And I've Never, In My Almost 30 Years Of Being A Comedian, Seen A Comedian Continue To Tell A Joke That The Audience Doesn't Respond To. I've Never Seen It.