People Keep Asking Me Whether I'm Going

I'm Pretty Sure Africa Was Made Up By The Media To Scare People. I Mean, I've Never Seen It. Have You? I Didn't Think So.

When You Win Your First Grammy, It's True, You Really Want To Thank All The Little People.

In My Opinion, One Of The Biggest Drawbacks About Sergio Leone Films Are The Scores Composed By Ennio Morricone. If [leone] Were As Talented As I Am, He Would Have Made Mixtapes For His Movies Instead Of Letting Some Schmuck Write The Soundtracks For Him. But Then If He Were As Talented As I Am, He'd Be Zach Braff. And Have His Own Grammy.

Is 'garden State' The Next 'citizen Kane'? Of Course Not. I'd Like To Think We Aimed A Little Higher Than That, Frankly.

I Was Stuck In Traffic One Day And Just Kinda Thought It Would Be Funny To Masturbate. It Was Sunny And Clear Out, So I Was Worried One Of The Other Drivers Would See Me, But My Jeep Is Pretty High Off The Ground, So I Think No One Noticed. I Busted A Nut And Aimed It Down, Ruining My Tweety Bird Floor Mat. I Felt Kinda Stupid After And My Mom Kept Silent The Rest Of The Drive Home. It Was Awkward And I Regret It.