People Have To Stop Saying That Just

When The Tabloids Photograph Me When I'm Out, I Always Say: "you Know What, Folks? I'm Not Married And I'm Not Gay. You Caught Me With A Hot Chick. You Got Me. Take Me To Hot-chick Jail. Did It Again. Guilty."

Osama Bin Laden Put Out A New Video. The Timing Of This Video Has Some People Upset, Three Days Before We Vote. It Looks Like He's Trying To Influence The Election. And I'll Tell You, It's Not Going To Work. Americans Know Osama Bin Laden Does Not Pick Our President. The Supreme Court Does.

We Have The Bill Of Rights. What We Need Is A Bill Of Responsibilities.

It's Been Over A Year Since They've Graduated, But Neither Of The Bush Twins Have Found Any Work. Why Don't They Sign Up (for Military Service In Iraq)? Do They Hate America, Or Just Freedom In General?

A Lot Of People Have Warned President Clinton That Bosnia Will Turn Into Another Vietnam, Which Would Be Embarrassing For Him Because He'll Have To Go Back To College.