People Hate Me Because I Am A

I've Had Great Success Being A Total Idiot.

Adrenaline Is Wonderful. It Covers Pain. It Covers Dementia. It Covers Everything.

You Might As Well Like Yourself; Just Think About All The Time You're Gonna Have To Spend With You.

I Have A Loyalty That Runs In My Bloodstream, When I Lock Into Someone Or Something, You Can't Get Me Away From It Because I Commit That Thoroughly. That's In Friendship, That's A Deal, That's A Commitment. Don't Give Me Paper - I Can Get The Same Lawyer Who Drew It Up To Break It. But If You Shake My Hand, That's For Life.

I Tell Young Comics, 'do You Want This Badly Enough? It's There. But You Have To Go Get It. And If You Think I'm Going To Give You The Key To The Lock Of That Door, There Is No Key, There Is No Lock, And There Is No Door.'