People Are Either Good Or They're Not.

New Rule: If You Still Think Obama Is A Muslim, You Just Might Be A Redneck. A Christian Church In South Carolina Has A Sign Out Front That Says 'obama... Osama... Hmmm... Are They Brothers?' No, They're Not Brothers. In Fact, They're Not Even Related, Which Is More Than I Can Say For The Married Couples In Your Church.

I Have Always Defined Political Correctness As An Elevation Of Sensitivity Over Truth.

'the Lorax,'...it's A Mythical, Woodland Creature, Right, Who's For Saving Trees. He Speaks For The Trees Because No One Else Can. Kind Of The Way Conservatives Speak For Fetuses.

We Learned This Week That Mitt Romney Is Building A Car Elevator In His House. An Elevator For Your Cars. I Get The Feeling This Guy Wants To Be President So He Has A Place To Live While He's Remodeling His Beach House. ... I'm Not Worried That This Guy Is Out Of Touch. I'm Worried He's Batman. I Could See Mitt As Batman. He Hears About A Robbery, He Changes Into The Magic Underwear, He Rushes To The Crime Scene, And He Helps The Crooks Manage Their New Money.

A Cult Is A Cult, And That's What A Frat Is. A Place Where They Strip You Of Your Personality And Rebuild It In Their Image.