Death Is Nature's Way Of Killing You.

Sometimes I'm Dragging My Ass Out To The Airport At 8 A.m. On A Saturday And I'm Wondering Why I'm Doing This, But Once I Walk On Stage I Know Why...because I'm Addicted.

Did You See Britney Spears At The Video Music Awards? I Don't Want To Say That That Performance Was A Disaster, But After The Show, I Saw Rudy Giuliani Having His Picture Taken Standing On Her.

Obama Has Had More Fundraisers Than The Last Six Presidents Combined. And He's Still Losing In The Money Race!

How Come Regional Pandering Only Works In One Direction, Right? You Never See A Southern Politician Trying To Win Votes In New York State By Saying, 'i Read Books And Make A Mean Vegan Meatloaf.'

It's Very Hard Not To Be Condescending When You're Explaining Something To An Idiot.