People Always Ask Me, 'were You Funny

I Think They Should Have A Barbie With A Buzz Cut.

We Went To Lunch And Were Talking About Procrastination And The Waitress Overheard Us And She Said, 'i Have A Problem With Procrastination, Too.' I Said 'really?... Get My Sandwich.'

Our Attention Span Is Shot. We've All Got Attention Deficit Disorder Or Add Or Ocd Or One Of These Disorders With Three Letters Because We Don't Have The Time Or Patience To Pronounce The Entire Disorder. That Should Be A Disorder Right There, Tbd - Too Busy Disorder.

If There Weren't Blacks, Jews And Gays, There Would No Oscars. Or Anyone Named Oscar, If You Think About That.

It's So Much Better For Me To Do A Talk Show. You Still Have That Energy Of The Audience, And The Audience Is Just As Important As That Guest That's Sitting Next To Me. It's Not About Me And That Guest Exchanging Energy And Talking. It's About Everything That's Going On In That Room, And They're As Much A Part Of The Show As Anything. I Like This Better Than Anything I've Ever Done.