Paris Hilton Got 45 Days In Jail.

Researchers In England Say Tall Men Are More Likely To Have More Children Than Short Men. Here In America We Call That The Nba Theory.

The United States Military Is Now Using The Music Of Metallica And Other Heavy Metal Bands To Break The Will Of Saddam Hussein Supporters To Get Them To Talk. Theyre Blaring Heavy Metal Music At Them. That Should Make The Artist Feel Pretty Good, Huh? Put Your Heart And Soul Into Your Last Cd And The Army Is Using It To Torture People.

Hillary Clinton's Opponent In The U.s. Senate Race, The Republican She's Going To Be Running Against, Has Been Married Three Times, Had An Affair With His Chief Of Staff, Had Two Kids With Her While Still Married To His Second Wife. This Is The First Time In History That A Clinton Is The 'family Values' Candidate.

For The First Time Ever, Women Are Scoring Higher Than Men On Iq Tests. Scientists Say It Has Something To Do With Breast Implants -- Not That It Makes The Women Smarter, It Just Makes The Men Dumber.

A Congressman Actually Apologized To Bp's Ceo For The Way The Company Has Been Treated. How Stupid Are You When The Ceo Of Bp Is In The Room And People Think You're The Moron?