Parents Are The Last People On Earth

The Three Most Important Things A Man Has Are, Briefly, His Private Parts, His Money, And His Religious Opinions.

Virtue Knows That It Is Impossible To Get On Without Compromise, And Tunes Herself, As It Were, A Trifle Sharp To Allow For An Inevitable Fall In Playing.

Christ Was Only Crucified Once And For A Few Hours. Think Of The Hundreds Of Thousands Whom Christ Has Been Crucifying In A Quiet Way Ever Since.

The Best Liar Is He Who Makes The Smallest Amount Of Lying Go The Longest Way.

A Sense Of Humor Keen Enough To Show A Man His Own Absurdities Will Keep Him From The Commission Of All Sins, Or Nearly All, Save Those Worth Committing.