Oprah Is So Rich, I Saw John

My Movies Are Okay, But They're Not My Specials.

Music Is The Soundtrack To The Crappy Movie That Is My Life.

You Know, Some People Say Life Is Short And That You Could Get Hit By A Bus At Any Moment And That You Have To Live Each Day Like It's Your Last. Bullshit. Life Is Long. You're Probably Not Gonna Get Hit By A Bus. And You're Gonna Have To Live With The Choices You Make For The Next Fifty Years.

I Had Always Been - Everybody Kind Of Likes Comedy. I Was Very Interested In Comedy, Beyond Just Liking It. I Had Friends That Took Apart Radios; I Wanted To Take Apart Jokes.

They Don't Want You To Vote. If They Did, We Wouldn't Vote On A Tuesday. In November. You Ever Throw A Party On A Tuesday? No. Because Nobody Would Come.