Homemade Sweaters Are Always Itchy.

I'd Rather Call Myself A Mischief-maker, An Imp, Rather Than A Satirist. Satirist Sounds So Self Important. Plus No One Is Calling Himself An Imp Right Now. It Makes Me Feel Special.

If There's One Thing That Everyone Can Agree On, It's That, Right Or Wrong, They Hate The Press.

I Mean, You're Gonna Be Left Behind If You Don't Appreciate The Genius That Is Meredith Vieira.

As The Great Philosopher George Santayana Would Have Said, 'those Who Cannot Remember The Past . . . Should Simply Read Jan Van Meter's Tippecanoe And Tyler Too.' Van Meter's Greatest Hits Collection Of Slogans Is The Catchiest Ever Retelling Of American History. It's Like The Greatest Minds Of Madison Avenue Sat Down To Write A History Book. They Don't Make Sound Bites Like They Used To!

I Love The Challenge Of Taking Something That May Be Boring To A Lot Of People But Is Unarguably Important. It's Irresistible. I Always Take Projects That I'm Paid To Learns Stuff. I Study Much Harder Now Than I Did When I Was In College.