Homemade Sweaters Are Always Itchy.

I Love The Excess Of Christmas. The Shopping Season That Begins In September, The Bad Pop Star Recordings Of Christmas Carols, The Decorations That Don't Know When To Come Down.

One Could Say, That #‎ Masons Were Raised Right.

If I Had A Time Machine I Would Go Back 30 Years And Show Up At My Grandmother's Apartment Before The Gargantuan Meals She Would Serve And I Would Help Her.

The Most Important Thing Is To Write Material That You Think Is Funny. If You Don't Think It's Funny, But You're Convinced That Other People Will Think It Is, Well They Won't.

I Still Don't Know How To Cook And That's Just Unacceptable.