[on Men:] I'm Torn Between Wanting To

Now I'm Searching For A Slightly Overweight, Single, Childless Woman Who Doesn't Have A Date And Isn't Too Depressing To Be Around. It's Getting Harder To Find A Girlfriend Than A Boyfriend.

I Was Going To Sip On A Diet Soda, But A Little Voice Convinced Me I Needed The Extra Calcium From A Cup Of Hot Chocolate.

I'm More Financially Successful, But It Just Means The Shopping Blunders I Make Are Bigger Now.

Men Should Come With Instruction Booklets.

Each Of Us Wages A Private Battle Each Day Between The Grand Fantasies We Have For Ourselves And What Actually Happens.