Oil Prices Jumped To Well Over $100

The Environmental Protection Agency Is Conducting A Seven-hundred-thousand-dollar Study To See If Alaskan Trees Are Polluting Oregon Forests. You Can Tell Republicans Are In Power. Pollution? It's Those Damn Trees.

Comedy Is The Only Profession Where Love From A Stranger Is Better Than Love From A Family Member. You Need To Perform For Strangers To See If You're Really Funny. If They Laugh And Cheer, It's The Greatest Thing In The World.

Financial Experts Are Saying We Are Entering A New Chapter In The American Economy. I Believe It's Chapter 11.

Folks, Tomorrow America Will Get To Hear Those Four Words We've Been Waiting For: "former President George Bush".

A Christmas Tree--the Perfect Gift For A Guy. The Plant Is Already Dead.