Oh Yeah, I'd Love To Be A

Oh Yeah, I'd Love To Be A Comedian. I've Done A Lot, But Always In The Confines Of Plays.

I Never Met My Theater Fans. I'm Out The Stage Door Five Minutes After The Curtain Goes Up. So That's It. I Don't Even Know Who Comes, But Thank God They Do Come. I Can't Tell. I Keep My Head Down. I Don't Meet Them. The Fans From "harry Potter" Are Kids Who Stop Me In The Street. I Love That. That's Terrific. I Was Amazed How Many Do.

Yeah, I Like Causing Trouble. It's The Teddy Boy In Me. I Used To Be A Teddy Boy. Feeling Slightly Inferior And Wanting To Cause A Bit Of Bother And Get Some Action Going On In The Room Rather Than Get Bored Stiff.

I Used To Be Gay, But I Was Forced To Give It Up, Because It Made My Eyes Water.

There Were No Spells At My School, Just A Smack In The Mouth.