Now That I'm A Parent, I Understand

My Father Wasn't Perfect. He Had A Temper. I Took Some Of That. He Would Snap, But The Older He Got, He Started Calming Down. He Learned About Life, But The Thing That He Taught My Whole Family Was That Family Was The Most Important Thing And, No Matter What, If A Family Member Needs You, You Go And Help Them Out; You Get There.

Alright, Remember, Alcohol Equals Puke Equals Smelly Mess Equals Nobody Likes You.

I Was Raised By A Mother Who Told Me I Was Great Every Day Of My Life.

I Sing Seriously To My Mom On The Phone. To Put Her To Sleep, I Have To Sing 'maria' From West Side Story. When I Hear Her Snoring, I Hang Up.

When I'm Up There, And I Know The Show's Coming To A Close, In My Head I'm Saying To Myself, Oh Man, You Gotta Get Off And Be A Normal Person Again. That's What I Don't Like So Much.