Nobody Is Going To Be As Bad

I Have Always Tried To Use Humor To "help Ever" And "hurt Never," For I Find That To Laugh Is Like Swallowing A Secret That Santa Claus Farted.

I Lived In La For Almost Nine Years And If I Never Went Back There Again It Would Be Fine.

I'm Going To Keep Talking About What I Think Is Interesting For My Entire Career. If You Want To Hear About How Women Do A Lot Of Shoe Shopping Or How Being Married Sucks, Go See The Guy Who Does Jokes About That. But If You Come To See My Live Show, There's Going To Be 20 Minutes On Religion For The Rest Of My Life, Probably. If That Makes Me A Caricature, So Be It.

I Do Not Want To Encourage Heckling And Outbreaks At All.

There Were A Number Of Referendums In '98 That Most Of The Things I Voted For Passed. That's Very Satisfying When You Feel That Most Of The Country Is In Step With Your Views.