No Politician Is Perfect. But In Every

It's Very Hard Not To Be Condescending When You're Explaining Something To An Idiot.

In The Republican Party, Crazy Is A Constituency.

Last Week, I Suggested The Candidates Take Up Mushrooms. I'll Be Damned If Rick Perry Didn't Take Me Up On That.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Come Out Against Gay Marriage. He Said Marriage Is A Sacred Union Between A Groupie And Any Number Of Body Builders.

Your Taxes Are Due A Week From Today. You Can Make Out Your Check Directly To Halliburton. Or You Can Do What I'm Going To Do. I'm Filing My First Joint Return. No, I'm Not Getting Married, I'm Sending The Irs An Actual Joint With A Note That Says, 'if You Think I'm Paying For This War, You Must Be High.'