No One's Trying To Get With Jugglers.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

I Always Hate Telling My Jokes In Print 'cause I Always Feel Like It Reads So Not Funny And People Read It And They Think, 'oh, So That's What That Guy Does In His Stand-up? That's Terrible.'

I'm In A Situation With This Girl That's As Hopeless As Overthrowing The Bush Administration.

Writing Your Own Jokes, You Just Kind Of Keep Working On Something Until You Think It Might Work, And Then You Try It Out And Hope For The Best.

Others Fear What The Morrow May Bring. I Am Afraid Of What Happened Yesterday.