No One Is Depressed When They're Being

I Swear My Car Won't Run Unless I'm Picking My Nose: At Least, I'm That Superstitious About It, So I Don't Want To Take Any Chances.

Having Sex Without A Condom Is Like Riding A Roller Coaster With Diarrhea. You Can't Just Throw Your Hands Up And Enjoy It.

I've Got A Great Eye For Color. I'm Like A Chick.

Everyone Keeps Saying, "oh My God, Oh My God, How Intimidating." It's Like Saying, "how Could You Date Jennifer Aniston After She's Been With Brad Pitt?" I Don't Care.

No, I Had Not Read Any Other Comedian's Book. Not That I Don't Enjoy Other Comedians; I'm Just Not A Reader.