I'm A Comedian, Not A Politician.

I Don't Think I've Ever Seen Pie Advertised. That's How You Know It's Good. They Advertise Ice Cream And Other Desserts. They Advertise The Bejeeezus Out Of Yogurt, But I Haven't Seen One Pie Commercial.

The Reason I Hate Publicists Is Because I Think If We Got Rid Of Them Everything Would Be On Equal Footing.

My Mom Was On Welfare And The Occasional Food Stamp, But I Have Never Participated In Any Of Those Governmental Programs, Even The Ones That Kind Of Work Like Education, Scholarships And Whatever, And I Managed To Do Just Fine.

I Got Drunk In Canada. I Was There For 2 Days But I Was Drunk There For 4 Days. I Don't Know How It Worked. I Guess It Was With The Time Difference Or Something.

I Don't Know Anything About Computers.