No One I Know Is Actually So

My Mum Is Bright, Ambitious, Well Read, Political And Very Bolshie: When My Dad Was Conscripted Into The Army And Posted To Libya, She Convinced Some General To Let Her Go With Him. I Don't Know How She Managed It.

As A Comic And As A Nurse, It's Important To Look Calm On The Surface When You're Absolutely Crapping Yourself Inside. So, If Someone Is Waving A Machete At You, Which Has Happened To Me When I Was A Nurse, It's Important To Make That Person Feel That You're In Control.

Fat People Are Brilliant In Bed. If I'm Sitting On Top Of You, Who's Going To Argue?

In The End, Punk Inevitably Burned Itself Out And Acted As A Bridge Across Which The New Romantics Could Sashay In Their Chiffon And Glossy Hair.

By Crying On My Bed, Drinking Quite A Lot And Feeling Tempted By Drugs. Well, Just Not Reading It To Be Perfectly Honest With You. I Know It's A Bit Of A Copout.