No Matter How Smart You Are, You

I Calculated The Total Time That Humans Have Waited For Web Pages To Load. It Cancels Out All The Productivity Gains Of The Information Age. Sometimes I Think The Web Is A Big Plot To Keep People Like Me Away From Normal Society.

To The Engineer, All Matter In The Universe Can Be Placed Into One Of Two Categories: (1) Things That Need To Be Fixed, And (2) Things That Will Need To Be Fixed After You've Had A Few Minutes To Play With Them. If There Are No Problems Handily Available, They Will Create Their Own Problems. Normal People Don't Understand This Concept; They Believe That If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It. Engineers Believe That If It Ain't Broke, It Doesn't Have Enough Features Yet.

The Best Any Human Can Do Is To Pick A Delusion That Helps Him Get Through The Day

Ask A Deeply Religious Christian If He’d Rather Live Next To A Bearded Muslim That May Or May Not Be Plotting A Terror Attack, Or An Atheist That May Or May Not Show Him How To Set Up A Wireless Network In His House. On The Scale Of Prejudice, Atheists Don’t Seem So Bad Lately.

The Best Part About Being My Age Is In Knowing How My Life Worked Out. Sure, There's A Lot More Living To Go, But There Isn't Much Doubt That I'll Always Be The 'dilbert Guy.' Unless I Go On A Crime Spree, In Which Case I'll Be That Stabbin Dilbert Guy.