If I Had A Billion Dollars I

So, Yeah, I Mean, There Is Something Universal About That Feeling - That 20-something, What The Hell Am I Going To Do With My Life, I'm Lost And My Parents Are Freaking Me Out, And What's The Point? Every Generation Has A Way Of Making That Unique, But There Are Certain Universals Of That Feeling.

I Don't Belive Oprah's Sexual Abuse Stories, I Mean Who Would Take A Black Girl When There Are Plenty Of White?

I'm Not Gay, But I'm Still The Kind Of Guy Where, Even Though You Have No Chance, They Still Want To Hang Around Me So You Can Get A Good Mental Image And Jerk Off To Me Later.

When You Win Your First Grammy, It's True, You Really Want To Thank All The Little People.

People Still Make New Year's Resolutions? Wow. I Figured Those Were Pointless Once I Perfected Myself By Directing, Writing, And Acting In Garden State. I Guess It Makes Sense, Though. It Gives People A Chance To Hope That They Can Become As Great As Me Someday.