New York City Has 2 Million Rats.

Because You Think An Explosion Has Taken Place And You're Looking At The Shards And You Say, 'well, Can We Put This Back Together?' And By God, Maybe You Can Put It Back Together. And Maybe It Won't Be The Same, But Maybe It Will Be Different, And Maybe It Can Even Be Better In A Different Way.

The United States Has Launched Airstrikes Against Isis. It's Being Called 'operation Approval Ratings.'

Last Month Mitt Romney Raised $76 Million. He Found It In An Old Sport-coat Pocket.

You Know, Barack Obama The Last Ten Days Was Traveling Overseas Campaigning In Europe And Everywhere. It Was So Successful, Campaigning Abroad, That He Is Actually Thinking About Campaigning Here In The United States.

I'm An Environmentalist. Most Of My Jokes Are Recycled.