Never Use A Big Word When A

It Was So Hot Today That Burger King Was Singing, "if You Want It Your Way, Cook It Yourself".

I Get Sick Of That Old Rationalization, "we're Staying Together Because Of The Children." Kids Couldn't Be More Miserable Living With Parents Who Can't Stand Each Other. They're Far Better Off If There's An Honest, Clean Divorce.

I Know You've Been Married To The Same Woman For 69 Years. That Is Marvelous. It Must Be Very Inexpensive.

Happiness Is Being Served With A Paternity Suit On Your 75th Birthday.

Find Me Any Performer Anywhere Who Isn't Egocentric. You'd Better Believe You're Good, Or You've Got No Business Being Out There.