Never Loan Your Car To Anyone To

House Guests Should Be Regarded As Perishables: Leave Them Out Too Long And They Go Bad.

Phrases And Their Actual Meanings: My Teacher Has Never Liked Me. Expect A Phone Call Before Lunch From The Teacher Informing You That Your Child Has Been Launching Hot Dogs By Compressing Them Inside A Small Thermos And Then Removing The Lid Quickly.

Encourage Independence In Your Children By Regularly Losing Them In The Supermarket.

Never Go To Your High School Reunion Pregnant Or They Will Think That Is All You Have Done Since You Graduated.

Dreams Have Only One Owner At A Time. That's Why Dreamers Are Lonely.