Never Drink Alone, That's What They Say.

Jesse Joyce Is A Great Writer.

You Can Say, 'can I Use Your Bathroom?' And Nobody Cares. But If You Ask, 'can I Use The Plop-plop Machine?' It Always Breaks The Conversation.

I Don't Watch Reality Tv.

I Don't Mind A Crowd's Not Laughing; It's The Groans That Slow Down The Show.

I've Never Had A Surprise Birthday Party. I've Had Every Other Type Of Surprise. I've Had Surprise Beatings, Surprise Drug Tests, Surprise Daughter I Think.