Never Ask Your Wife If She Still

Did You Know Richard Nixon Is The Only President Whose Formal Portrait Was Painted By A Police Sketch Artist?

For Days After Death Hair And Fingernails Continue To Grow, But Phone Calls Taper Off.

I've Worked Ever Since I Was A Kid With A Two-bit Kit Of Magic Tricks Trying To Improve My Skills At Entertaining Whatever Public I Had - And To Make Myself Ready, Whenever The Breaks Came, To Entertain A Wider And More Demanding Public.

I Would Like To Say, For The Record, That I Am In Favor Of Using More American Indians And Other Minorities In Motion Pictures, I Am Against Polluting The Oceans Of The World, I Am For Every Nationality Having Its Own Homeland, I Am Against Whacking Baby Seals On The Head, And I Am For Saving The Whales.

Happiness Is Being Served With A Paternity Suit On Your 75th Birthday.