If Variety Is The Spice Of Life,

A Two-pound Turkey And A Fifty-pound Cranberry-that's Thanksgiving Dinner At Three Mile Island.

I Hated My Last Boss. He Asked, Why Are You Two Hours Late? I Said, I Fell Downstairs. He Said, That Doesn't Take Two Hours.

The Best Way To Thaw A Frozen Turkey? Blow In It's Ear.

I Have An Ego Like Anybody Else, But I Don't Need To Be Stoked By Going Before The Public All The Time.

Entertainment Is Like Any Other Major Industry; It's Cold, Big Business. The Business End Wants To Know One Thing: Can You Do The Job? If You Can, You're In, You're Made; If You Can't, You're Out.