My Whole Act Is Off The Top

I Was Nice To The People In The Philippines For The Two And A Half Years I Was There, Because I Knew Even­tually I'd Have To Kiss Up To Them So My Grandchildren Could Have Toys.

It's Just To Break Things Up Between Stand-up Gigs. I Would Only Do It Periodically. Maybe Just An East Coast Thing.

Italians Are Fantastic People, Really. They Can Work You Over In An Alley While Singing An Opera.

I Think If I Took Therapy, The Doctor Would Quit. He'd Just Pick Up The Couch And Walk Out Of The Room.

We Show A Lot Of Film [with Regis Philbin] From My Career Which Is Most Enjoyable. I Enjoy Watching It.